May 2004, Best Man Speech at the wedding of Peter Saunders and Marissa Budhu

Ladies and gentlemen, if I may have your attention for just a moment, my name is Ian Gibson-Smith and I have the dubious honor of being the best man at this occasion. I say dubious as Marissa threatened me, very sweetly, with grievous bodily harm if I let Pete get into any trouble whatsoever prior to this event.

Fornication …. Sorry, For an Occasion such as this, as I understand it, the role of the best man carries with it three traditional responsibilities. The first of these responsibilities is to help the groom (and sometimes the bride) through those pre-nuptial jitters. In Pete's case, there have been none of these with respect to the wedding planning or his marriage to Marissa but I do understand that there were certainly some anxious and tension ridden moments leading up to the golf tournament for the men that took place on Friday. (Personally, I still feel a night of drunken debauchery at some thoroughly disreputable bars as a bachelor party would have caused a lot less effort and stress but, as it takes longer to recover from those the older we get, the wedding would probably have to have been postponed - so it was probably for the best!)

The second, and less appetizing responsibility of the best man, is to run interference between the bride and groom and whatever members of their families happen to be causing grief, but after meeting Peter and Diana and Livy and Diana and the rest of their families, this too has been a responsibility that has, happily, not had to take place. It is a true pleasure to meet so many of you and to witness the deep affection and regard in which you all hold each other and in which you hold Pete and Marissa.

The final, and more frightening to me, responsibility of the best man, is, of course, to come up with some sort of suitable toast.

Having sat through innumerable weddings, it seemed to me that often this duty seems to include coming up with public airing of some obscure events in the groom's life, which usually elicits dirty sniggers from a small group and uncomprehending looks from the rest, or to engage in a total and utter character assassination. Often, of course, this results in the best man being not so best after all. However, as this is supposedly one of my tasks, to that end, I did try to come up with some of these, but like me, you all probably know that Pete's life is pretty much an open book. The more I thought about this, however, the more it disturbed me. I have therefore come up with a few possible scenarios; either I don't know you as well as I think I do, Pete, or else you are frighteningly respectable and incredibly boring. Another possibility of course is that, as I did not know you during the first twenty something years of your life, you asked me to be best man so you could dodge this bullet. Then, of course, I realized the solution to this conundrum. The reason I cant think of any appalling behavior on the part of Pete is that by the time he has had the opportunity to do something dreadful, I have already committed some awful act and passed out, so I have never been conscious to observe this.

I think the only vice or behavior I can possibly come up with for Pete is perhaps his occasional over fondness for a good bottle of wine or glass of scotch. There is a quote from Pliny the elder which said "In Vino Veritas" or "In wine lays the truth" In Pete's case I believe this is highly apt. Whenever he has a couple of drinks he has a tendency to become even more affectionate, caring and loving, to everyone, than he normally is, and as he is already that way, I think that this demonstrates some of his character.

So, I am afraid Pete, that I have had little cause to be a traditional best man to you in any of these areas but I have to say how honored am I to be so regardless. In fact, I can think of no other person on earth for whom I would actually wear rented clothing and shoes rather than Armani and Ferragamo's, so I think that must prove something.

I think, instead, what I would like to remark upon is the reason that we are all here. Peter Saunders has been a very good and dear friend to me, and many of us here, for many years. We have seen each other through some pretty rough and horrible times and some pretty good ones but I am now proud to say that I am seeing him through what I hope will be the beginning of the best times of his life.

When, not long after meeting Marissa, he called to tell me that he had met someone about whom he felt very, very strongly, I was, at first, a little concerned. I am not saying that Pete is easy to take advantage of but I don't think that the boot marks on his heart have come from radically aggressive CPR. It was, therefore, with no small amount of relief and joy to meet Marissa and find a woman not only as kind, as generous, as smart and as caring as he but, and no offense Pete, far better looking and stunningly beautiful inside and out as well.

I think it a testament to the two of you that so many people have come from so far, and not just for the free booze and food, but to witness the two of you make vows to each other, and, as part of that, ask that we, your friends and family, acknowledge that commitment to each other, help you deepen that commitment to each other and support that commitment to each other. As your friend and best man, and, I think, on behalf of everyone else here, it is a responsibility and a task we take with joy and with pride.

Homer said it best when he stated "There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends"

Therefore, ladies and gentlemen, I would ask you to raise your glasses to the bride and groom as I offer the following toast:

"Here's to this fine couple. May their joys be bright as the morning, and their sorrows but shadows that fade in the sunlight of their love"

Ladies and Gentlemen: To the bride and groom!